‘There is such a thing as too casual’

Betty Halbreich was the personal shopper at New York department store Bergdorf Goodman for almost 50 years, working right until she passed away last August, aged 96. After taking a job on the shop floor, as she wrote in the new, posthumously published book No One Has Seen It All: Lessons for Living Well from Nearly a Century of Good Taste, “I went to the higher-ups and pitched the idea of starting a personal-shopping service. The rest is history, as they say. Ancient history.”

Halbreich spearheaded the concept of the personal shopper with her service, dubbed Solutions, and also helped source clothes for hit TV shows such as Sex and the City and Gossip Girl. She dressed everyone from socialite Babe Paley to Liza Minnelli. New York magazine called her the most famous personal shopper in the world.

In the foreword to No One Has Seen It All, her friend Lena Dunham praises her ability to “read people like books, to diagnose their needs and what fashion — what she — could do to heal them . . . Yes, it was about cut and fit . . . but it was also about storytelling, about the image we project for others and the way we need to feel when we look in the mirror.” Or as Halbreich put it: “It truly isn’t all about clothes. Mostly, I deal in human nature.”

In the book, Halbreich offers advice on everything from the cell phone (“It has become a fifth limb”) to giving up drinking (“I quit drinking when I was 93”). Here are some of her pearls of wisdom on fashion.

Taste rules

I wonder if the famous labels we all know won’t become less important as they become prohibitively expensive. They who love clothing don’t have to be consumed with a certain brand. Perhaps not being able to afford the hype of the rich and well-known is not a bad thing. It gives a chance to a lot of talent out there.

That is the optimist in me. Say a quick hello since she doesn’t come out often . . . 

Back to the realist: I was browsing through the shoe department and picked up a pair of simple sneakers. I thought maybe I would indulge myself. Upon lifting one shoe to look at the price tag on the sole, I let out a gasp — $2,000! A good rule of thumb is this: if you are ashamed to tell a friend the price of a garment or accessory you purchased, you probably paid too much.

Don’t assume that because something is expensive, it is of value. Look for unique, beautifully and carefully made items and happily pay their maker what they are worth.

No one-night stands

Waste is anathema to me. I don’t believe in throwing away food, relationships or clothes. On my single bed, I cover myself up with the afghan my grandmother crocheted on her lap every Sunday, as her group of friends, “the girls,” sipped coffee with whipped cream and nibbled hand-baked schnecken served on a silver platter with a doily. I marvel that after all of these years of use, it is in perfect condition.

When it comes to my wardrobe, I have never lived season to season. I have had some of my clothes for longer than most people have been alive. I give them a rest and then return to utilise them in a different way. Example, breaking up a suit, using the jacket as a separate and putting it together with a different skirt or trouser. I do not sell clothing for a one-night stand.

One year I got my hands on an Issey Miyake dress. The pleated, navy dress looked different and marvellous on everybody. I sold every single one of those dresses the store purchased . . . The dress went anywhere. Roll it up, pack it and go — to a wedding, garden party, gallery opening . . . 

In my book, the biggest compliment I receive is when someone says, “You sold me a dress 10 years ago, and I still wear it.” While you can’t always predict what will last and what won’t, I suggest longevity is a good thing to consider, and not only in your wardrobe. Think about it when you furnish your home, choose a job, and, most importantly, let people into your life.

There is such a thing as too casual

I’ve observed a transformation in those passing through the floors of the store. There is a whole new force getting off the elevators, wandering through the boutiques and sitting in the bar in the restaurant on the seventh floor. The women are sporting athletic tights with their very costly handbags. In the restaurant, which has never been so filled, men in shorts expose their hairy legs. These groups are beyond casually dressed. Casual is putting it too lightly. Casual is too kind.

I’m from the “olden days”, when we dressed in the morning for the day, then returned home in the late afternoon to refresh ourselves and change into what we thought was more appropriate for restaurant dining. Even if the reservation was at a steak house, we had an outfit for that. How nice it was to dress for the occasion. It made everything a bit special and helped an introvert to look forward to the night out . . . 

I am not suggesting we return to the old ways, where it took a whole day to get your hair done. But haven’t we lost a small pleasure in everyday living and a different way to express ourselves that isn’t verbal? I want to find an antidote to this new pandemic of casual dressing with a return to beautiful jackets, tailored trousers, and most of all, my favourite, dresses! Bring back fabrics, colour, buttons, details! I know the world is not with me on this. No, no. After all, I’m an old person. This makes it so difficult for me to sell wardrobes, because it is not within me to offer up T-shirts as everyday wear. My thrust is to try to convince the client to be the first one on the block to look not drastically but a bit different. It gives them such a good feeling if they do.

I believe the opposite of casual is care. You needn’t wear a gown to show you put some thought into your appearance as a gesture of respect to your hosts or others in your presence. Grandad’s canary-yellow cable-knit under a tweed jacket adds just as much to the loveliness of the event.

Air between the hangers

You don’t wear the clothes in your closet unless they’re out and facing you. They practically need to speak to you. If not, they simply sit in the back, mixed up and mixed out of your everyday go-to garments.

Many of us tend to wear the same thing day in and day out. As a society, we’ve become lackadaisical when it comes to dressing. We don’t get very innovative unless maybe we’re compelled by a special event, like a wedding or, more likely in my case, a funeral. In general, though, it’s become far too easy to throw on one of the few outfits you’ve decided are comfortable. Think of digging into your closet as a treasure hunt.

Excerpted from ‘No One Has Seen It All: Lessons for Living Well from Nearly a Century of Good Taste’ by Betty Halbreich. Copyright © 2025. Available from Running Press, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc

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