Woman Plans Casual Wedding-Not Ready For Guest’s ‘Really Extra’ Outfit
A bride-to-be says she is excited for her ceremony next month, but not for what she describes as a guest’s “really extra” plan to wear a traditional Moroccan takchita.
The bride and original poster (OP), user purpleyellou, shared her dilemma on Reddit, explaining that she is Moroccan and her husband is European.
The couple opted for a small Western-style wedding with a casual dress code, along with a separate henna party to celebrate her heritage.
Her sister-in-law (SIL), however, seems intent on wearing a takchita—an ornate, layered Moroccan gown often worn at formal celebrations—to the wedding, having previously converted to Islam.
The OP, however, claims they are “in no way casual” and would stand out at a low-key ceremony, so she “kindly” asked her SIL to wear a Western-style dress instead.
“She, as a Muslim woman, believes that I’m not respecting her religion,” the OP explained, “but (and that’s my opinion) religion is not the same as culture.”
She continued, “My justification for finally telling her she can’t show up dressed like this is because I feel like it’s too over the top, won’t fit, and she basically will stand out too much.
“Once again, look them up. These dresses are really extra. In Moroccan weddings, it makes sense because everyone wears their best outfits. But not at a Western wedding.
“She said that if she can’t express herself freely, she isn’t coming, and I told her that she’s free not to come.”
Reddit users flocked to the comments to weigh in, with one writing, “If a woman shows up to a casual dress wedding in a prom dress, she’s acting like the main character.
“If a person not of that culture tries to wear the clothes of that culture inappropriately, then she’s the main character. You can either let her show up and make a fool of herself and have the photographer avoid her for pictures, or uninvite her.
“Personally, I’d just let her be. When she shows up overdressed in the clothes from the wrong culture/country, everyone will see who she really is.”
Another Reddit user focused on the distinction between religion and tradition, noting, “It sounds like she’s using your wedding as a chance to cosplay, given the culture isn’t hers.”
Wedding Guest Etiquette
Wedding etiquette experts note that couples typically set expectations for attire.
In a guide for guests, The Knot explains, “Casual wedding attire is one of the most relaxed out of all the dress code wording examples on this list, but it’s important to remember that a wedding is still a formal event, after all, so there are some rules to keep in mind.”
The concept of cultural appropriation surfaced several times in the thread.
‘Without permission’
According to Verywell Mind, “Cultural appropriation refers to the use of objects or elements of a non-dominant culture in a way that reinforces stereotypes or contributes to oppression and doesn’t respect their original meaning or give credit to their source.”
The article adds that it “also includes the unauthorized use of parts of their culture (their dress, dance, etc.) without permission.”
Newsweek has reached out to purpleyellou for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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