Why Teen Boys Embrace Personal Care: Looksmaxxing & Skincare Trends

For years, when we’ve thought about physical appearance and low self-esteem, the national conversation has focused on teenage girls and women. But that’s only half the story. Teenage boys are just as susceptible to pressure to fit a certain look, and even tweens are getting messages about their appearance. And they’re taking those messages to heart: according to Piper Sandler’s spring 2024 “Taking Stock with Teens” survey, teenage spending on beauty is at its highest level since 2018, growing 8 percent year-over-year to reach $339 per person annually. For teen and tween boys specifically, skin care products have seen a boost, with nearly half of teen boys in the U.S. aged 12-17 saying they’ve used products for their face in the last 12 months, according to recent data by Mintel. And of course, there’s cologne: The fragrance category is seeing a marked increase in spending among teen boys, with sales up 26 percent from last year, according to Piper Sandler’s data.

But what does that data look like IRL? As part of SheKnows’s Be a Man series, and in partnership with fellow PMC brand Beauty Inc, we talked to five Gen Z boys ages 14-20 about TikTok beauty trends, their personal care routines and influences, and where they shop for the products they use. We also talked to experts about what it all means for teens’ self-esteem — and what parents should keep in mind.

Driven By Social Media

One of the buzziest boy-beauty trends has been “looksmaxxing”: a popular social media trend among teenage boys focused on altering their appearance to fit narrowly defined — and often unrealistic — masculine ideals. (The “max” part is inspired by video games, where “maxing” means a player has reached full development of certain character traits). Engaging in “looksmaxxing” can involve anything from getting a new haircut or starting a new skincare regimen, also known as “softmaxxing”, or undergoing cosmetic surgery, also known as “hardmaxxing.”

As the New York Times reported, unsettlingly, the term appears to have its origin in the incel community as far back as the 2010s, before finding its way to TikTok, where influencers found a captive audience in younger teens and tweens — preying on the insecurities of those years when boys’ bodies and faces are undergoing the most dramatic changes on their own.

While it’s common to hear the term online, it’s less so in real life — at least according to our teens. My own 12-year-old son confirmed that no one says “looksmaxxing,” other than “maybe some of the 8- or 9-year-olds at camp.” And the boys SheKnows talked to aren’t into the practice either.

What some tween boys are into is mewing. No discussion of their interest in appearance would be complete without mentioning the term — and it has nothing to do with cats. For anyone who hasn’t been around a tween boy in the last year, “mewing” is “the movement of flattening your tongue against the roof of your mouth in an attempt to define your jawline,” according to the American Association of Orthodontists. And, in my experience, all the tween boys are all mewing all the time (though it’s questionable whether they think mewing is effective, or whether they just enjoy the inside joke that parents don’t understand.)

In news that will surprise no one, by and large, these online trends do not work. “There’s currently no scientific evidence to support the effectiveness of trends like mewing for facial reshaping,” says Nicholette Leanza, LPCC-S, a therapist at LifeStance Health. “Social media seems to easily perpetuate these myths, unfortunately.”

Regardless of what TikTok trends teen and tween boys are — or aren’t — practicing, the overall goal is to “mog” — a more recent TikTok-famous term that basically means to outdo your peers in the looks department. “If Person A looked better than Person B, Person A would say to Person B, ‘I mog you,’” one of SheKnows’s Gen Z Council members, 14-year-old Joan, helpfully explained.

Websites and apps designed to give advice on maximizing hotness (erm, “mogging”) are all over the place. One of the most popular, called “Umax — Become Hot,” is currently among the top 100 apps in Apple’s app store’s “lifestyle” category (reaching as high as #36 at one point), and offers paid users critiques of their looks using AI. It scores users’ selfies and offers tips on improving their looks, rating things that can’t truly be changed without drastic measures, like cheekbones and jawlines.

Even if they aren’t commonly shelling out the big bucks to get plastic surgery, there are still teenage boys (or their parents) willing to shell out plenty for clear skin. Dangene, an aesthetician in New York City, reported to Town & Country magazine that she helps a lot of teen boys manage their acne — at a cost of $6,000 – $8,000 for six weeks of treatment. “They’re really curious about different lasers,” she told the outlet. “And they’re also more willing to speak to their friends about their skin than they were in the past. Today we start with the boy and then we get the girlfriend.”

Acne, in fact, seems to be one of the major catalysts jump-starting an interest in skin care, according to our panel of boys. “All the other kids around me started getting bad acne, and I saw that and I was like, ‘I don’t wanna be like that,” said 15-year-old Justin. And 14-year-old Theo’s first foray into skincare began when a friend with enviously clear skin made some suggestions: “He introduced me to a lot of brands he used.”

What Beauty Products Are Teen Boys Buying?

While the conversation on social media seems to focus on the more extreme version of changing your appearance to fit an ideal, most of the teenage boys we spoke to were more interested in straightforward products and routines: face wash, lotion, sunscreen, and maybe a toner or face mask. Deodorant, of course. And cologne — definitely cologne.

One of our Gen Z panelists admitted to getting into skincare because of his younger brother. Zach, 20, told SheKnows, “It’s kind of funny because my brother, he’s 12, is really deep into skin care because of TikTok and I’m not, but I just started going into his room and asking him questions.”

Teen boys also aren’t breaking the bank to pick up their skincare products. Finn, 19, shops at mass retailers rather than specialty stores like Sephora. “Most of the products I buy come from CVS, but, underratedly, T.J. Maxx has the best skin care section,” he shared. “I go there for random stuff, not my go-to stuff; maybe a sunscreen, a face mask — something different. They have good brands like Laneige and this one called CosRx that are fun to try out.” (For a teen-by-teen perspective on which brands they use, check out Beauty Inc’s article.)

When Is Focusing on Appearance a Problem?

In the age of selfies and Zoom, it’s not a huge surprise that teen boys care more about their appearance. We’re all on-screen more than ever before and inundated with photoshopped celebrity photos. Furthermore, the prevalence of these trends on a tween or teen’s FYP can add to the pressure to focus on appearance for some kids, Jennifer Kelman, LCSW, Mental Health Expert, Therapist & Licensed Social Worker at JustAnswer, tells SheKnows: “When these ‘trends’ show up in social media or social circles, those who are already feeling inadequate may be more prone to try anything to achieve the looks they want.”

Caring about your appearance is a natural response, and not inherently bad. “Focusing on one’s appearance or having routines that may help one to look their best and feel their best aren’t necessarily a problem,” Kelman adds. ”[B]ut when it takes over and the focus is only on looks and going to great lengths to look a certain way, that’s when it can become a problem.”

Leanza notes that it’s a red flag when teen boys become anxious or obsessed with their looks, or when they start spending excessive amounts of money on products. Likewise, parents should seek help if teen boys start to avoid social situations because of their insecurities.

“When their dissatisfaction with their looks starts to affect their mental health, that is when it’s time to worry about their well-being,” she advises.

It’s always worth paying attention when teens start to drastically change their behavior. The same is true for a sudden interest in appearance or rigidity to personal care routines.

Leanza encourages parents to start by having “proactive conversations to gauge the level of dissatisfaction and ways to navigate concerns about appearance in a healthier way.” She also encourages parents to acknowledge their boys’ concerns about appearance and validate the pressure to be attractive. “Highlight his strengths and help him to challenge unrealistic beauty standards,” she advises. “Seek help from a mental health professional if needed. Finally, it’s important that you role model what positive self-esteem looks like and focus on healthy habits in your own life.”

Fortunately, most of the teens on SheKnows’ advisory board didn’t seem too impacted by influencers and trends. “I honestly think it’s hard to take notes from influencers when it comes to skincare because everyone’s skin is so different and even when something’s worked well for someone it just doesn’t always work well with your skin,” says Finn. “The best way to find new things is to just try them out and see what works yourself — that’s what’s worked for me.”